Hey Friends,
Just writing to let you all know we are leaving for vegas on weds so plan on hearing some interesting stories when we get back, which wont be till next week. In the mean time watch this video over and over. I feel it shows that even if your ass is hanging out of your pants you can still be talented, much like my fellow blogger Jon...
Enjoy.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
No Hesitation Lady
About fifteen or 45 minutes ago Jon and I were in the library. We were minding our own matters such as playing poker and looking at the hot girls that were sitting in front of us. All of a sudden the fire alarm started going off like crazy...probably from the sweet babes.
Anyways after a minute or so this crazy woman with a white construction helmet came running into the computer lab screaming LETS GO! FIRE!. Everyone started to get up but not quick enough for her.
She kept yelling FIRE and then was like DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! I didn't want to die and im pretty sure no one else did but she was lucky that people didn't start stampeding out of there. Yelling do you want to die, was not the best choice of words in that situation. We made it out of the library without seeing a fire or smoke either. It must have been a fake fire or really small.
The real threat was the woman who over reacted.
Oh yeah also, after a few seconds of the fire alarm there was one person who picked up her things and then ran as fast as she could out of here...good work no hesitation lady.
Anyways after a minute or so this crazy woman with a white construction helmet came running into the computer lab screaming LETS GO! FIRE!. Everyone started to get up but not quick enough for her.
She kept yelling FIRE and then was like DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! I didn't want to die and im pretty sure no one else did but she was lucky that people didn't start stampeding out of there. Yelling do you want to die, was not the best choice of words in that situation. We made it out of the library without seeing a fire or smoke either. It must have been a fake fire or really small.
The real threat was the woman who over reacted.
Oh yeah also, after a few seconds of the fire alarm there was one person who picked up her things and then ran as fast as she could out of here...good work no hesitation lady.
Monday, March 9, 2009
One Interesting Friday Night
Hello ladies and gents. On Friday night we had a very interesting excursion which ended in us running for our lives from a strip club.
The night began innocently enough, with Zack and I enjoying each others company with a few alcoholic beverages in hand. Well after a couple of hours of just looking at each other, we decided we needed to get out and do something a little less homosexual. We decided the best course of action would be to go to a strip club. How can anyone think you're gay for going to the strip club? However, since we are going to Vegas in a week and a half (hopefully returning home filled with glorious stories for you), we decided that spending money at a strip club was a bad idea, so we did the next best thing. We headed to the local bikini bar named PJ's and ordered up a pitcher and hung out at the bar looking way less homosexual.
Well the bar closed at 1 a.m. and we unfortunately arrived there at 12:30 a.m. so we had just enough time to finish our beer and get out of there. While walking out we noticed a man standing by himself who looked very interesting. He was sort of short, about 5'6", and was big boned. He was wearing his Guitar Center uniform, name tag and all, Patrick Warderburger was his name. He also had quite the haircut. I don't even know how to explain it, but he basically looked exactly like this:
We asked him what he was up to on this lovely night and he told us he was trying to get a hold of one of his "hookups" so he could get into a party who the rapper Dirt Nasty was having close by. Naturally me and Zack asked him if we could go with him and he said yes. He got on his phone and started showing us all the celebrities he had in his phone book. It made him seem so cool, you don't even know. And we knew they were really the celebrities phone numbers because you can't fake names on phone numbers, thats just not possible. He made a few phone calls, kept getting rerouted to different people until finally the end came, and he was not able to get a hold of the person who was ultimately going to get him, and us, into the party. He looked at us, we looked at him, and he said "fuck it, I know the DJ at the Rhino, he'll let us in for free." What luck, we thought, thats exactly where we wanted to go in the first place.
So we said we would meet him over there and see what happens. This is when he informed us that he had gone to this bar with a friend who had already left and he didn't have a car to get over there. We warily told him he could ride with us, but we were starting to get a little sketched out. I drove us over there and on the way he told us that if we just got some money from the ATM there he could get us some hookups with the girls, he knew exactly what to do. Well the reason we didn't go there in the first place was due to the lack of funds, so there would be no money extracting tonight. We did not tell him this however, and we acted like we were ready to do whatever he wanted.
We got into the club for free and sat down, Zack went and withdrew some money so he could act rich. While getting the money Jon was sitting with Pat. A stripper came over and started flirting with jon to get a lapdance. She was grabbing his thighs and what not and then finally left him alone. However, that was not the end of Jon being groped. Pat reach over and placed his hand ever so seductively on Jon's thigh and said:
"Do you like the sausage instead of the taco?"
Jon being very uncomfortable awkwardly said, "I only eat taco"
At this point he said that he could get Jon and himself a great deal on a lapdance with a girl.
J: You, me and 1 girl?
P: Yeah, i could get it for like $30!
J: I could go back there by myself without you sitting next to me for $20.
P: OK hold on!
Pat proceeds to go and talk to girls and comes back to Jon.
P: OK I can get us 2 girls for like $60! ... I only got like $16 so you'll need to cover the rest.
J: Haha I don't think so.
P: Come on, I was gonna get you the hook up at the party.
J: You didn't get me the hook up though.
P: Come on man don't get all gay on me now.
J: I bet you would want me to get all gay on you now.
Pat didn't like this very much and started to get very upset.
P: Dude, you don't know who I know or what one phone call could do.
J: Well shit man, lets just go then.
P: You're gonna get some money?
J: Yeah I'll get it right now.
P: OK, I'll go with you.
J: No, the girls look like they're getting impatient, just go back and get started and I'll meet you back there with the money.
Pat agrees and heads back with the 2 girls.
I turned to Zack and told him we needed to get the hell out of there, Pat was turning into a fucking weirdo.
We walked out the door then sprinted for Zack's car and began to pull out of the parking lot when Pat ran out. He stood in front of the car and wouldn't move, so Zack went full speed ahead and ran the turd nugget over...
Ok that last part didnt happen. We made it back without running any Pats over. But beware of Patrick from Guitar Center... he's a skank.
The night began innocently enough, with Zack and I enjoying each others company with a few alcoholic beverages in hand. Well after a couple of hours of just looking at each other, we decided we needed to get out and do something a little less homosexual. We decided the best course of action would be to go to a strip club. How can anyone think you're gay for going to the strip club? However, since we are going to Vegas in a week and a half (hopefully returning home filled with glorious stories for you), we decided that spending money at a strip club was a bad idea, so we did the next best thing. We headed to the local bikini bar named PJ's and ordered up a pitcher and hung out at the bar looking way less homosexual.
Well the bar closed at 1 a.m. and we unfortunately arrived there at 12:30 a.m. so we had just enough time to finish our beer and get out of there. While walking out we noticed a man standing by himself who looked very interesting. He was sort of short, about 5'6", and was big boned. He was wearing his Guitar Center uniform, name tag and all, Patrick Warderburger was his name. He also had quite the haircut. I don't even know how to explain it, but he basically looked exactly like this:
We asked him what he was up to on this lovely night and he told us he was trying to get a hold of one of his "hookups" so he could get into a party who the rapper Dirt Nasty was having close by. Naturally me and Zack asked him if we could go with him and he said yes. He got on his phone and started showing us all the celebrities he had in his phone book. It made him seem so cool, you don't even know. And we knew they were really the celebrities phone numbers because you can't fake names on phone numbers, thats just not possible. He made a few phone calls, kept getting rerouted to different people until finally the end came, and he was not able to get a hold of the person who was ultimately going to get him, and us, into the party. He looked at us, we looked at him, and he said "fuck it, I know the DJ at the Rhino, he'll let us in for free." What luck, we thought, thats exactly where we wanted to go in the first place.
So we said we would meet him over there and see what happens. This is when he informed us that he had gone to this bar with a friend who had already left and he didn't have a car to get over there. We warily told him he could ride with us, but we were starting to get a little sketched out. I drove us over there and on the way he told us that if we just got some money from the ATM there he could get us some hookups with the girls, he knew exactly what to do. Well the reason we didn't go there in the first place was due to the lack of funds, so there would be no money extracting tonight. We did not tell him this however, and we acted like we were ready to do whatever he wanted.
We got into the club for free and sat down, Zack went and withdrew some money so he could act rich. While getting the money Jon was sitting with Pat. A stripper came over and started flirting with jon to get a lapdance. She was grabbing his thighs and what not and then finally left him alone. However, that was not the end of Jon being groped. Pat reach over and placed his hand ever so seductively on Jon's thigh and said:
"Do you like the sausage instead of the taco?"
Jon being very uncomfortable awkwardly said, "I only eat taco"
At this point he said that he could get Jon and himself a great deal on a lapdance with a girl.
J: You, me and 1 girl?
P: Yeah, i could get it for like $30!
J: I could go back there by myself without you sitting next to me for $20.
P: OK hold on!
Pat proceeds to go and talk to girls and comes back to Jon.
P: OK I can get us 2 girls for like $60! ... I only got like $16 so you'll need to cover the rest.
J: Haha I don't think so.
P: Come on, I was gonna get you the hook up at the party.
J: You didn't get me the hook up though.
P: Come on man don't get all gay on me now.
J: I bet you would want me to get all gay on you now.
Pat didn't like this very much and started to get very upset.
P: Dude, you don't know who I know or what one phone call could do.
J: Well shit man, lets just go then.
P: You're gonna get some money?
J: Yeah I'll get it right now.
P: OK, I'll go with you.
J: No, the girls look like they're getting impatient, just go back and get started and I'll meet you back there with the money.
Pat agrees and heads back with the 2 girls.
I turned to Zack and told him we needed to get the hell out of there, Pat was turning into a fucking weirdo.
We walked out the door then sprinted for Zack's car and began to pull out of the parking lot when Pat ran out. He stood in front of the car and wouldn't move, so Zack went full speed ahead and ran the turd nugget over...
Ok that last part didnt happen. We made it back without running any Pats over. But beware of Patrick from Guitar Center... he's a skank.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Rain: Fact or Fiction?
Today we were walking through campus and water was falling on our heads, which is called rain. Since it was pouring I said we should run to class so we will get less wet.
Jon replied by saying we will get more wet if we run
Z: One could argue that you will be less wet if you run jon...they proved it on myth busters
J: Yes but one could argue that it is also not raining right now.
Z: Yes but how would one begin such an argument.
J: Well who says we have to call it rain, we could call it something else
Z: Like Murfshanting?
J: Yes exactly like murfshanting
Z: So instead of raining right now its murfshanting?
J: That's what i've come to realize
Z: Me too
After that conversation we escaped the murfshanting wetness and went to class
Until next time, try and stay dry when it murfshants.
Jon replied by saying we will get more wet if we run
Z: One could argue that you will be less wet if you run jon...they proved it on myth busters
J: Yes but one could argue that it is also not raining right now.
Z: Yes but how would one begin such an argument.
J: Well who says we have to call it rain, we could call it something else
Z: Like Murfshanting?
J: Yes exactly like murfshanting
Z: So instead of raining right now its murfshanting?
J: That's what i've come to realize
Z: Me too
After that conversation we escaped the murfshanting wetness and went to class
Until next time, try and stay dry when it murfshants.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Story Time
I would like to tell an interesting, yet little known story about Zack and Jon. We decided one fine day in October of 2008 that we should go on a nice leisurely hike. We drove on over to El Santa Monticas, which in english means The Tiny Donut. We knew of a quaint little trail that took us to a cute little water fall.
We parked in the parking lot at the beginning of the trail and made sure we had all the necessary equipment. Once we were satisfied that we were well equipped we began our stroll. About a third of the way to the water fall the trail opens up to a beautiful open field with small rolling hills covered in thick grass about knee high.
While walking through this field Zack noticed a small bush peeking out of the grass and he said that he had seen it move.
"You're crazy Zack", I said in complete disbelief.
"I'm not kidding, it has been slowly moving as if it were watching us", he said.
"Let's go check it out then you little girl"
We began walking over to it and thats when I noticed that the bush began to slowly move back in retreat. At this point we didn't know what the hell was going on. Are we tripping? Did we forget that we had smoked a bunch of peyote before the hike? No way, this was really happening.
We decided the best course of action was obviously to keep following the bush, which we did. All of a sudden the bush shot up in the air and underneath it stood a huge Indian (the feathers and spear kind, not the red dot on forehead kind). Yeah, no joke, a huge freaking Indian! So naturally me and Zack looked at each other and simultaneously said "how" in our best Indian voices, while raising our right hands in peace.
Well our Indian friend didn't like this too much and began making all kinds of crazy sounds only a true Indian could make. Within seconds we were surrounded by a huge group of 2, maybe 3 more Indians with spears aimed at us and we knew we were in some deep doodoo (is that supposed to be two words?)
Well... to make a long story short, we won the Indians over with our good looks and charm and thats the story of how we lost our virginities.
We parked in the parking lot at the beginning of the trail and made sure we had all the necessary equipment. Once we were satisfied that we were well equipped we began our stroll. About a third of the way to the water fall the trail opens up to a beautiful open field with small rolling hills covered in thick grass about knee high.
While walking through this field Zack noticed a small bush peeking out of the grass and he said that he had seen it move.
"You're crazy Zack", I said in complete disbelief.
"I'm not kidding, it has been slowly moving as if it were watching us", he said.
"Let's go check it out then you little girl"
We began walking over to it and thats when I noticed that the bush began to slowly move back in retreat. At this point we didn't know what the hell was going on. Are we tripping? Did we forget that we had smoked a bunch of peyote before the hike? No way, this was really happening.
We decided the best course of action was obviously to keep following the bush, which we did. All of a sudden the bush shot up in the air and underneath it stood a huge Indian (the feathers and spear kind, not the red dot on forehead kind). Yeah, no joke, a huge freaking Indian! So naturally me and Zack looked at each other and simultaneously said "how" in our best Indian voices, while raising our right hands in peace.
Well our Indian friend didn't like this too much and began making all kinds of crazy sounds only a true Indian could make. Within seconds we were surrounded by a huge group of 2, maybe 3 more Indians with spears aimed at us and we knew we were in some deep doodoo (is that supposed to be two words?)
Well... to make a long story short, we won the Indians over with our good looks and charm and thats the story of how we lost our virginities.
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